Olivia's Marathon Misadventures

Monday, January 30, 2006

Rip VanWinkle

Saturday recap
Wine: 2
Food: some, nothing major, wasn't particularly hungry
Hangover (on Sunday): check! WTF?!?!

Whew. I slept all weekend. Seriously. I preferred sleeping over eating. V strange.
And also, I can't believe that I ran 10m. For real. No stopping, except for water. Even blogging about the run makes me tired...like I don't want to relive it. Now we were supposed to do weight training before the run, but there is no way in hell that I was going to spend an hour lifting and then 2+ hours running. That just wasn't going to happen in this or any other parallel dimension. But some crazies did it!!
At any rate, I showed up at 10 til 7a on Saturday at my local "Y" (which, to me, sounds like a cruel rhetorical question), loaded down like a pack-mule: clif shot bloks, chocolate cappucino gu (or some crazy flavor like that), iPod (no matter how thin, still heavy), and chapstick. Let me just say, the shot bloks and the gu are HEAVY. VERY heavy. I don't really know why - I guess they are just super dense with sugar. Oh and electrolytes or whatever the heck is inside.
It was a beautiful morning in all seriousness and I was happy that it was so, I really couldn't have put those running pants back on. A large group had assembled - so it seemed like the run would be interesting (you know, dodging people, chasing, passing - or in my case, being chased and passed).
For each long run, I've run with different people, and for this long run I had as company a financier and a barrister. Happily, I knew their pace would match mine because we had a long long long run ahead of us. Also, I knew we'd have some good conversation as well. And off we went, away from the "Y?" up Hillsboro Road, around Hillsboro High (whose mascot is a burro - isn't that terrible to have an arse as your mascot?!), around Lipscomb elementary/high school/college/cradle-to-grave-brainwashing-institution (sorry - I think it is strange), and away towards downtown on Granny White Pike. Now, there is something you must know about Nashville, all major streets have 2-3 names - they start as one name and later at some undetermined point for no apparent reason change names. Just an FYI for later. Long about mile 3 there was a water stop. And I was happy to have it, all of my cargo was weighing me down!!! I passed out my clif bloks because I just couldn't bear hauling them for 7 more miles! If I weren't so in love with my iPod, I might have done the same.
We didn't stop long, just long enough to glug some gatorade (ugh, super sweet!) and we kept on going. Somewhere near that water stop Granny White Pike turns into 12th Avenue South - a very hip neighborhood on the sunny side of the ghetto. My favorite yoga studio, 12South Yoga, is on that street. And it is very hilly. Grr. We keep on running past Mafiaoza's, past Mirror, past the Belmont dorms, past a dead cat and into the shady side of the ghetto.
ALMOST TO MILE 5 - that was the chant in my head. But so was, HEADS UP FOR STRAY BULLETS. Luckily, it was early. Only the winos were out and about. Left. Right. Repeat. Was I lumbering?? Finally, we turned on Wedgewood (corner of Thug and Homeless), and climbed the hill on our way to Music Row. WE MADE IT!! FIVE MILES! Uh, so, uh, only half way. Grr. Down we went on Music Row and halfway down we cross and go back up - we were on our way back! Running up Music Row we happened upon M&M (aka, Trainer M and Trainer F - duh, for male and female) our fearless coaches and they a) take a humiliating picture to post on their website b) run with us at a pace I found uncomfortable - they are speedy little buggers! I was for sure lumbering at this point. The girls I was running with seemed unfazed, however. How?
Finally, we make it to the next water stop at mile 6 or 7 at the Athlete's House...you remember, the nice folks to fronted me the non-cotton socks!!! Guzzle gatorade! [ah, not so sweet!] Eat remaining clif blok so as not to have to eat gu! Keep running! Everything was critical at this point. Run run run on Belmont for what seemed like an eternity. I don't remember anything in particular hurting, I wasn't out of breath, but I was tired, tired of running, tired of whatever it was I was feeling. I thought, "How am I supposed to complete a marathon, the Country Music Marathon, if I was tired already?!?!" Only 2 more miles. My little barrister and financier were chugging along right as rain. I was envious, being in full struggle and all. And finally, there it was, our Everest: the hill on Graybar Lane. We totally skipped it and went on to the next street, Glen Echo. NAUGHTY!! Glen Echo is no picnic, but it isn't the sheer climb that Graybar is. After what felt like an eternity, we made it up the grade (full of my favorites: false summits), and were squirted out on to Hillsboro Road! We made it! WOO-HOO!!!
But not really.
I always, always misjudge how far we actually have to run on Hillsboro: past the high school, past the mall, past Wild Oats, past the strip mall, past a mall that isn't developed yet, past another strip mall, past countless gas stations and finally we get to turn onto Hobbs. Uh, and once we do that, there is another.25 m to run to the "Y?!?!" (as in Y am I still running like a totally sick individual?!). Oddly enough, somewhere between the BP and the Shell station, the barrister has to walk and the financier takes off like a shot. The Cheese Runs Alone. [sob]
Lumber, lumber, lumber. On I ran (which in my mind's eye looked more like quick waddling), finally making it to the end. Ah, the sweet end. I don't remember much after that. Now, I don't believe I've ever felt the runner's "high" - a sense of euphoria brought on by (being so sick, uh, I mean...) running. But, I do believe in a runner's buzz. I felt drunk, too drunk to drive home. Very 6 beers down the hole. What's up with that?!
I do remember getting home and taking off my shoes to find a new hammer toe on my left foot. I guess sandals are out of the question for me this spring...


  • Sounds like a good run, Olivia. Its hard the first time and gets easier. Wait until you are running 16, and then get to do an easy 10. That 10 will feel like a breeze.

    You're doing great!

    By Blogger Jon (was) in Michigan, at 6:34 PM  

  • You forgot to tell them about how you kicked the barrister's ass in the last mile! Take credit where it's due, girl!

    Love the blog!

    By Anonymous Tara, at 12:05 PM  

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