Olivia's Marathon Misadventures

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Guess Who I Saw at the Y?!?!?!

So, against my better judgement, I decide to hit the gym after work yesterday. Like I always say, I prefer the 5a folks over the 5p folks. The 5pm'ers are there for the scene, the action, the people watching. I mean, I saw 8th graders making out near the pilates room. Ick.

Olivia wants to get in, get out, and get on with her life - all while avoiding eye contact with other members, especially ones she knows.

So, I go storming into the weight room and who do I literally bump into? Well, first of all, I am not a particularly coordinated individual. I can be standing still and almost fall over, just by standing there. As I zoom in to the weight room to get my painfully necessary work out done, I bump into this very tall, very built dude. I look up, MORTIFIED that I walked into someone. We lock eyes...he is HOT...sadly, I am not, my eyes are all bleary from staring at a monitor all day and having just come from a 2.5 hour marketing research kick off meeting. Wow, thought I, what a hot dude. I don't see to many of these lately - what a rare and sublime creature!

HOLY $HIT! It's the Bachelor Travis Stork!!! AUGH!!!!!!!

For some reason I was even more embarassed than I normally would be. I guess because I think he is a big tool from the show and we know a lot of people in common from Vandy. So I basically evaporate and hide in a corner doing the gazelle precor thingy in lieu of running - because running would be in plain view. Whew - I escaped. WRONG. He just so happens to know the girl (ahem, twig) on the machine next to me and decides to stop and have a chat. Dang dang dang. "DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT" I kept thinking. He is just yukking it up with the girl next to me. "blah blah blah, I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to make more drinks at 5 a.m.! har har har, the last thing I needed at 5 in the morning was another drink" Ok we get it, you drink until the time I wake up, whatevs - go away. All the time, I am completely beet red, dying from humiliation.

After 5 minutes, I decided I sure am warmed up enough and hit the weights. I hit my favorite thing: the cable machine at left (that is NOT ME). I do adductor and abductor stuff on this but also do this exercise for my hip flexors where I stand on one foot facing away from the machine and raise the opposite knee to 90 degrees (femur parallel to the ground) and extend my lower leg with the pulley cable attached by an ankle strap. By using a stick to support myself, I keep my back is straight and shoulders relaxed. I then engage the cable dynamically by kicking the leg forwards. Basically, I pull the weight, using hip flexor muscles at the top and front of the thigh, until the leg reaches an angle of about 30° or I feel like I want to die. The hardest part is to smoothly return the leg to the start position, retaining good posture. I looked a little bit like the Karate Kid, but with waaay better posture.

Anyway, this strange move caught Travis' curious eye. Grr. So now I am the insane, red-faced girl who mows him down and does zen weight training. Boo. Anyway, that workout felt like it lasted FOREVER. I was so flustered warming up that I left my keys on the gazelle machine. When I went back to find them they were gone. Now I had to hunt and hunt and hunt in every nook and cranny of the dirty smelly weight room looking for my keys. TERR-ible. In the meantime, every teenager and young woman at the Y were flocking around the Stork. It was sad - for the girls. Each one trying to out giggle the others. And he looked like a depraved dude that loves the attention of curiously young girls (who so obviously go to they gym to meet dudes like that). I was so horrified that I had to go to 2-4-1 pizza and beer in my workout clothes. When I got there, all of Nashville beat me to the punch, it was a 2.5 hour wait for a table. Exqueeze me? I hate Tuesdays.


  • Ugh! Travis is so gross! I thought he was leaving Nashville??

    By Blogger Rae, at 3:12 PM  

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